Pop Rock the Vote

Alas, the Republican presidential primaries have finally brought us some candy-related news. But, when 18-year-old Chloe Thomas asked presidential hopeful Mitt Romney about Pop Rocks, it wasn't just the topic that was off base, but the entire request.

And we can thank Chloe Thomas, 18, who recently trekked from her home state of Maryland to Iowa in the weeks leading up to the (in)famous Iowa Caucus.

According to the Des Moines Register, after gaining the honor of Mitt Romney’s presence, she made her case for what can only be described as THE hot button issue of the 2012 presidential election. During a campaign event, she apparently asked the presidential hopeful if he could bring back Pop Rocks.

“If you become president, I want you to bring those back. Those were good,” Thomas told the candidate, reports the Des Moines Register.

I’m sorry, what now?

You want the leader of the free world to work on bringing back your favorite candy? The man isn’t going to be a king, or a genie. He’s going to be the president, of a free country, where leaders don’t get to grant random wishes to bring back nostalgic confections, but instead have to work toward consensus with congress on important things like payroll tax cuts and sugar policy reform.

But you know what? Thomas is 18, and I can only hope she was just trying to be funny, so maybe I can cut her some slack.

And to his credit, Romney tried his best to go with the flow. According to the Des Moines Register, “Romney laughed along with the audience. ‘There are a lot of things I can blame on the president. But I’m not going to blame him for getting rid of Pop Rocks,’ he said. ‘I’ve got to tell you, I think the market just wasn’t there.’”

Now, let’s all giggle as we contemplate whether Romney can bring back candy that pops in your mouth. Ha. Ha.

Except, well, there’s something even more frustrating about this situation than the fact that people seem to believe presidents have more power than they actually do - the fact that Pop Rocks haven’t actually gone anywhere.

You see, the real reason you can’t blame Obama for getting rid of Pop Rocks is because Pop Rocks still exist! You can still buy them in the store, you can visit their website here, and you can even still grab a pack of grape flavored Pop Rocks, a flavor the company brought back last year.

In the end, Romney managed to win the Iowa Caucus Jan. 3, with a whopping 8 vote advantage over second-place finisher Rick Santorum. I can only assume it was his ability to keep cool under Pop Rock pressure that helped him pull out a victory.